The Unhappy Gibbo


“Bad Boy, Dirty Boy”

One Day we left the shores of Tobermory and decided to cycle from Kilchoan over the Ochill hills to Acharacle.

The Gibbo, Stevie and Myself Sailed on the tiny Tobermory – Kilchoan Ferry, the “M.V Raasay” the day was nice and the company was good.

We travelled by single track road in the sunshine joking and singing songs and looking forward to a spectacular wild off road adventure to Acharacle and a twenty mile road section back to Kilchoan.

We headed off the main road onto mind-blowing technical single track… two minutes later the Gibbo breaks his chain. The power in his legs is awesome…… But quickly fixed and then on our way once more… Big Climb lovely hills but ten minutes later snap…. yes you guessed it…Gibbo broke his chain again….

I decide to say to him “BRYAN YOU HAVE TO SPIN IN A LOWER GEAR”.

Mmmm he says… and moves into the middle ring…we merrily plod through heather, bog and muck taking in probably the most scenic views anywhere in Britain life was Good…

We sped down rocky single tracked open countryside leaping over tussocks and even jumped over a few sheep, we headed into lovely pine forest wooded trails and into the shade …everyone having a ball.

Then twang! Guess what ???? Gibbo breaks his chain again!!

Chain is now being fixed very slowly in the woods as with 10 million midges gnawing at our legs, arms and head. Things get done in stages of running about screaming. Good humour seemed to be evaporating rapidly…

I says to Bryan..”Please Please Please keep in a low gear.. It’s another 30 miles to the LAST Ferry home and I have to be at work in the morning at all costs”. He grudgingly says “Yes ok.”

So we head off….. Everything seems fine…Stevie is chatting away and the Gibbo is looking glum.

Leaving Salen with eighteen miles to go Stevie decides to up the pace and starts to hammer it back.

Gibbo looks on in panic and even though I turn to him and say ”NO Bryan”.. He can’t control himself…

Click…. and suddenly he is in the big gear. His eyes glazed with only one thought in mind to catch Stevie and teach him a lesson.

Five miles up the road on the top of a hill I came to a standstill as there was a car stopped in the middle of the road with a terrified old lady with huge staring eyes…. arms straight out locked to the steering wheel .

In front of the car was the Gibbo…. red-faced, with eyes glazed and kicking hell out of his bike…….

A broken chain lay on the ground……..

I pulled him to the side of the road but he was unaware of any car being there… the old lady sped away with screech of breaks and I am sure she was crying .…

Bryan looked at me and then looked at his bike, it was as if he had just come out of a dream. I was standing there but more importantly his bike was lying there with a broken chain and a bent wheel where he had been kicking hell out of it…

I told Bryan he was on his own as it was imperative I caught the last boat home.

He said to me “Tell Steven he can come back in the car and pick me up“ as Stevie had left his car there the night before.

On returning to Kilchoan Stevie was at his father in-laws and we enjoyed a lovely cool pint of lager… Brilliant…. What happened between then and the Gibbo not getting picked up shall remain in the realms of your imagination…..

Anyway the ferry waited half an hour for the Gibbo and then set sail for home with the Gibbo running down the pier with his bike on his back screaming “Come back you F*”nnn B***ds”. As there was not another boat till the following day and he was stranded.

A special bond has grown between Stevie and Gibbo to this day…

The fact that Stevie had a puncture 10 miles from home and having no pump had to walk back and discovering a tyre lever inside his tyre after the Gibbo had fixed it for him was just a coincidence……